tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18063474817612931892024-03-08T03:00:46.465-08:00In the Dick's Hatband BrigadeSeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-17725391937902329202009-02-14T16:57:00.001-08:002009-02-14T17:01:39.143-08:00I was walking home today and saw a valentine heart glued to a wall. It was a scavenger hunt one lover had made for another, talking about their lives together. The writer had made a grammatical mistake so I took a pen out of my bag and fixed it.<br /><br />It's wonderful that people still do those sorts romantic of things for each other.Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-84760212437510916322009-01-30T18:05:00.000-08:002009-01-30T18:07:31.894-08:00French ClassI told my professor about the cheating thing. She understands. Also, I'm doing a little better in that class then I thought I was. Hip hip hooray.Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-41969127623535111542009-01-26T12:26:00.000-08:002009-01-26T12:35:30.888-08:00Cheater Cheater Pumpkin EaterThe smart boy thinks I cheated off of him.<br /><br />I didn't, and I'm mortified that he thinks that of me. It did look like that's what I was doing though, so I don't blame him for thinking that I guess.<br /><br />I was doing horribly...I mean really really badly. I froze up. I didn't know what else to so I started looking around. It really looked like I was cheating.<br /><br />Even if I don't get in trouble with the school (He didn't turn me in), I'm so completely embarrassed. I'm not a cheater.Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-13162896320740184292009-01-26T01:03:00.000-08:002009-01-26T01:19:37.543-08:00I was never in the Closet.So I've been reading a lot about how other guys came out of the closet or are coming out on their blogs. Here's my own story:<br /><br />I was never <span style="font-style: italic;">really</span> in the closet. The second I knew, and often beforehand, everyone else did too. First of all, I'm a loudmouth. In high school I gossiped tons about myself. Second of all, I grew up in some pretty liberal parts of Miami. In most places I think people assume you're straight until they can tell otherwise. Well, I honestly feel like in Miami they don't do that, or maybe I just come off as gay right away. I do seem kinda obviously gay sometimes.<br /><br />I didn't really accept myself as gay right away, but I never really denied it either. I thought it was a phase, or that maybe I was bi. I had actaully had some pretty major crushes on girls in middle school, so there was a bases for that judgement.<br /><br />But when I knew for sure, pretty much everyone else did too.<br /><br />I did have some "coming out" episodes: and here they are.<br /><br />1. My brother found my livejournal. I had been talking about boys. That's how he knew for sure.<br /><br />2. Then he told one of my cousins on a plane to Colorado.<br /><br />3. My parents had told me a couple times they wouldn't care either way. I "officially" told my mom in the car. I'm not sure of the exact wording but it was really just verbally stating what I knew she already knew.<br /><br />In fact I got a bigger reaction out of her when I told her I smoked pot.<br /><br />Both of my parents figured it out on their own.<br /><br />4. I know my dad <span style="font-style: italic;">knew</span>, but apparently he wanted to hear it out of my own lips instead of allowing himself to figure it out on his own. He said he did this out of respect for me, and that sexuality isn't something a parent should just assume of their kid.<br /><br />I thought that was really great, but annoying because it meant I had to tell him, and I haaaaaate talking to my parents about sex. I absolutely abhor it.<br /><br />5. Once I was stoned with some of my cousins and I said "Ok I'm going to tell you guys something. You know I'm gay, right?" and they said "Duhhh. Sean why are you making such a big deal about it."<br /><br />6. I can't remember if I've told my grandmother or not. Haha! But she called my bestfriend my boyfriend once, and my aunts all say she knows. So, that's done.Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-39985275637833856522009-01-25T22:55:00.000-08:002009-01-25T23:06:39.810-08:00NowO.K. that boy stopped liking me. I don't know what it was exactly although I have some ideas, and honestly I'm okay with that...I guess. I really did like falling asleep next to him, but I don't think we had much in common, and well....I don't know. Maybe I'm too weird for him anyways.<br /><br />I have to look for a summer internship. I wish I was more upset about the economy, I wish I was more upset about my grades, I wish I was LESS upset about being alone sometimes. My life used to be much more passionate then it is now. Part of that was probably the Adderoll I was on, but part of it was just having a more interesting life. But it's fine. My life is on break right now while I'm in school. The adventures will continue after I graduate.<br /><br />I did have a lot of sex about a week ago. 4 nights with 3 different guys. Since that's probably the highlight of my month, you can see how routine my life is here. Oh, well.<br /><br />Remember when livejournal was really popular? Everyone I knew seemed to have one...I was a lot more revealing on mine then other people were I think, and I loved telling stories of my life on it. All my friends read it, but most of the stuff I post on here they could read anyways...I haven't said anything really bad yet have I?<br /><br />Maybe I'll blog on Facebook. Maybe.Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-35441978671210015742009-01-23T00:35:00.000-08:002009-01-23T00:45:32.262-08:00GainesvilleMy life is on pause while I'm in this town for the next year...and I'm O.K. with that. What I mean is, I have to stick around here because I'm within a year of graduating so maybe I'll give up everything else (which I've practically already done anyways) and spend all my time on school, planning for the times when I'm not in Gainesville, and looking for sexual friends online. AND maybe I'll fall in love, but I doubt it. There is a boy I'm having a very nice time with right now though - hopefully that will last. My fears are that he'll stop liking me.<br /><br />Anyways my point is, living in the moment here really isn't worth it. So, maybe now it's all about the future. Now I need some big goals to drive me to that future and make me work harder now.<br /><br />Once I'm done then I can move to Miami or whatever big city I have a job offer in and LIVE!<br /><br />Imagine a cute apartment on South Beach, or in the Grove, or the Design District (All areas of Miami), a social life consisting of art gallery openings, happy hours, sex, and coworker camaraderie, and a job at a cool youth filled architect's office or design magazine maybe. Oh, and lots of dating of lots of hot boys...once of which will fall in love with me.<br /><br />CONCLUSION: I NEED GOALS SO I CAN HAVE A SWEET POST COLLEGE LIFE. Hooorah!Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-60694405317971232762009-01-17T01:48:00.000-08:002009-01-17T01:55:00.057-08:00Casual SexI'm over having casual semi anonymous sex. I want romance, passion, and love. I might not be able to stop myself from having sex until I really like who I'm having it with, but I want to have it with people that I know I'll want to fall asleep with afterwords.<br /><br />And have breakfast with, etc.Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-91225659210630471632009-01-13T10:11:00.000-08:002009-01-13T10:25:45.841-08:00Other Gay BloggersWhy do so many Gay Bloggers seem to have such perfectly fabulous lives? A well-to-do London banker having hot sex in Bangkok, a kid in Beverly Hills, a pr-athlete, a guy who somehow gets everything because of how muscly he is, a kid who constantly talks about how popular he is...etc.<br /><br />First of all, I understand of course that they all have issues and nobody has a perfect life...half of them aren't even out of the closet actually...secondly I'm literally asking WHY? constructively, why? Is it because they have great lives that they blog, or is it just a correlation? Do they talk about their lives because the lives seem worth talking about, or do people who blog tend to be wealthier, more educated, and more interesting then the majority of society simply because it is those traits that make good bloggers?<br /><br />Certainly people with more money have more computer access, and more educated people are probably more introspective and self analytical - a necessary trait for a good blogger. On a certain level social norms dictate to us that blogging is an activity more commonly done and more accepted by exciting young progressive people (who very often have pretty cool lives anyways), and people who have something good to talk about. How often do you see the uneducated rural poor blogging? Sure, it may happen, but not very often.<br /><br />Finally, the blogs that are more visible are probably the more popular blogs, and popular because they are interesting. The people writing them lead "cool" lives.<br /><br />O.K. well I guess I'm a little less jealous of Mr. "I just had hot sex in Bangkok."<br /><br />But it still sounded like a lot of fun.Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-70493354653381249512009-01-07T11:47:00.000-08:002009-01-07T11:59:37.419-08:00The EconomistRing....ring<br /><br />me - Hi Mom<br /><br />mom - Hi Sean<br /><br />me - How are you......blah blah blah (obligatory conversational pleasantries)<br /><br /><br />me - So I've been reading The Economist and I'd really like a subscription. It's 50 dollars, because it comes once a week.<br /><br />mom - Sean, that's too much.<br /><br />me - Will you split it with me?<br /><br />mom - No. I'm getting you Vanity Fair anyways.<br /><br />me - Yes, and thank you, but The Economist is more expensive and I can't afford it on my own. I could afford Vanity Fair.<br /><br />mom - Do you not want Vanity Fair? I haven't sent it in yet.<br /><br />me - No, no, I do want it....but it's not something I would ask for because it's only 10 dollars and I would be embarrassed to ask for that because I can afford it. The Economist I can't afford and I'm getting rather addicted to it.<br /><br />mom - Can't you read it online?<br /><br />me - Weeeeeeell yeah. <span style="font-style: italic;">(How do I justify it now? In addition to not getting the Economist, I'm toast.)</span><br /><br />mom - Well, there you go.<br /><br />me - Um, ok. <span style="font-style: italic;">(I'm 22 and too old to beg, although I know the real reason doesn't have to do with it being too much money. It has to do with me being 22. Splitting it would not be too much money. But, I'm still in college and poor as a door mouse. What should I do? Go without, I suppose. Buuuuut it's the Economist, so It's educational. I thought parents still paid for that stuff. Wait.....I just took out my first school loan....ok fine they don't pay for that stuff anymore. damn)</span>Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-64233397410864115982009-01-06T13:38:00.000-08:002009-01-06T13:42:49.208-08:00New Year's Eve KissI've never had a proper New Year kiss at midnight. I went dancing on New Year's Eve a couple years ago and had my first <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">threeway</span> kiss with a boy dressed up as a cowboy and a boy as Le <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Corbusier</span>, but that was around 11. I was in a sailor suit with white pants. Around midnight they were nowhere to be found.<br /><br />And that's the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">closest</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">I've</span> been to that.Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-84503195850034326782008-12-31T18:57:00.000-08:002008-12-31T19:04:17.793-08:00New YearHappy new year. I'm young, idiotic, and I can't seem to express what I really want to say. However, to the world I wish a happy new year, and to one person in particular, kiss.<br /><br />Good night. Maybe I'll have a New Year's Resolution after all.Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-85453831481552346722008-12-31T00:08:00.000-08:002008-12-31T00:14:19.644-08:00CondomsIn the gay world:<br /><br />Does anyone try to use condoms anymore, or is the world that much dirtier? Why does it seem like the new definition of safe sex is pulling out before cumming? I'm a little scared.<br /><br />In the straight world:<br /><br />No one uses a condom. All them bitches are on the pill, and HIV is (unfairly) not as prevalent.Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-66706484012193891492008-12-16T21:08:00.000-08:002008-12-16T21:10:01.334-08:00AllergicWell, the allergic reaction is gone. :-)<br /><br />So far I'm allergic to cats (mildly), Demerol, dust (mildly), and GHB.Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-86051696228668478702008-12-15T16:28:00.000-08:002008-12-15T17:33:59.744-08:00GingersI posted this in a comment to another person's blog. He seems like a nice guy, but his position on red headed people is a bit odd. NOTE that he's British and I'm American ----- cultural differences much?<span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /><br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;">"What is it that brits have against red heads? If you guys are going to have prejudices, at least have a reason for them!<br /><br />Like for example, in America:<br />Racism is a lingering negative reaction to the abolition of slavery, and back when slavery was legal it was a psychological justification for it.<br /><br />Homophobia represents the insecurities of the hetero world and lots of religious indoctrination.<br /><br />But anti-ginger sentiments? Hmmmmmmm........maybe it has something to do with the Irish, or Guy Fawkes. Was he a redhead?"<br /><br /></span></blockquote><blockquote></blockquote>Now of course I'm not justifying any kind of prejudice, I'm just saying that at least ours aren't<span style="font-style: italic;"> random!</span>Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-78743079348746978222008-12-15T16:05:00.000-08:002008-12-15T16:14:04.606-08:00GymI'm going to the gym. Second day in a row!<br />For me this is really good. I'm skinny as a twig and in a way I really like being like that, but working out and being a little more full bodied is healthier BLAH BLAH BLAH.......plus it's sexier. Okay, so I'm trying to to it.<br /><br />I've tried before. This time it might work, because all I'm telling myself to do is go and run on the treadmill for a few minutes every day. That's all.<br /><br />Oh, and you know how I'm so skinny? Metabolism, yes, but it's also because 95% percent of the food they sell within walking distance of my dorm is booooring as bread (is that a phrase?) and definitely not worth the money. Today so far I've eaten: two slices of pizza, a slice of banana bread, and a pepsi. Oh, and I had an adderoll. That's it.<br /><br />My allergy thing is doing better - still not totally cleared up, but on its way.<br /><br />I'll be home late Friday night, for two weeks. Two weeks in Miami! :-)Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1806347481761293189.post-32091503953056716752008-12-13T23:57:00.000-08:002008-12-14T00:52:30.367-08:00Dear Diary, Universe, and the blogospherehold on a sec<br /><br />Well, I'll dive right in.<br /><br />Last night I tried GHB, which is (I think) the marquee date rape drug. Anywayas it didn't seem to do much and I was bored with it. Today I woke up, rolled around a lot in bed, got up and and out and went to take a shower.....and bamm! I have rather large rash spread around my body. I look into the situation and talk to a chemist friend I have (no not "makes his own meth" chemist, he's a "getting a masters in something very complicated" type of chemist.) and he says since I'm allergic to demerol which I had after surgery once, that it's probably just the same thing. So there.<br /><br />Anyways I've barely gone out all day, leaving myself alone to my thoughts and attempts at studying for finals coming up. The rash has made me a modest man.<br /><br />A problem with me is I live way too much in my own world and my own head. I may go out and do things, but often I do them alone, and I have freinds, but often I don't engage with them as much as I should. Why am I a loner? I'm not sure. I have this huge goal of falling in love, which I'm almost constantly thinking about, but my life is more then that, and yet it consumes me. P.S. I'm a young Gay male. Also, people.........many many people.......even interesting people......tend to bore me. I'm not sure why. Am I that horribly focused on love, sex, and being antisocial? Sometimes I want to be constantly overstimulated, and where I am now I just don't often get that. I'm trapped in a college town that honestly puts me to sleep.<br /><br />I'm overanalyzing. Nevermind. Then I'm also judging my own life and thinking about how kind of crappy it feels sometimes, but if I look at the facts it doesn't seem that bad. The thing is, enjoyment of life isn't about facts.....it isn't about how much you score, or what you do, it's about how you feel between the moments when you're doing those things.....the regular stuff that fills up the time between the notches on your belt.<br /><br />Well, for the record, here are my notches:<br /><br />I generally have a decent amount of sex with different men. I have a couple funny sex stories........a 3some on the beach with two French boys, getting nailed on my professor's desk by another student I met online at 3 AM, getting nailed again in the backseat of my BFF's car while said BFF drives around looking for somewhere dark and ends up pulling into Checker's so he can get fries while we finish, etc. But what happened after those things? Absoloutely nothing. Well, actually backseat checkers guy ended up really liking me and I saw him again, but really didn't like him as much at all the second time around.<br /><br />I go to a good school, and my life's ok. I date occasionally, in fact I'm kind of talking to a boy now that I think I like but wont actually be able to go out with until January. So all this crappiness I feel sometimes I totally put on myself. Why am I so uninspired here? My grades are sinking, and i'm feeling lost.<br /><br />Is it depression? No, not exactly. It's more complicated. We'll see.Seanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11029115252089721963noreply@blogger.com1